What the Stages of Labor Are Really Like
Welcoming a new baby brings excitement, questions, and a long list of things to learn. Many expectant parents find themselves surprised by the details of pregnancy, birth, and the early days of parenting—sometimes wishing they had been told more about what actually happens during this time.
Understanding the real experiences, challenges, and joys of welcoming a child can help parents feel better prepared as they enter this new stage of life. This article aims to offer helpful guidance and honest facts, making the journey to parenthood less stressful and more informed.
Looking at Labor Stages Differently
Traditionally, labor stages are described based on cervical dilation, but this method doesn’t always capture the full experience of childbirth. While cervical measurements can be difficult for individuals to assess on their own, they don’t always reflect the complexity of the labor process. A more personal approach—focusing on physical sensations, emotional shifts, and comfort levels—can offer a clearer understanding of where someone is in their journey.
Labor is a deeply individual experience, and its signs may vary from person to person. Paying attention to bodily cues and emotional shifts that go beyond mere numbers can be especially valuable, particularly during natural childbirth. While medical interventions may alter the sensation of labor, many still find these markers useful in tracking progress.
Getting Ready: “Is Labor Starting Now?” (Pre-Labor Signs)
Physical Signs
Before labor officially begins, the body often provides early signs. Many people experience more frequent Braxton Hicks contractions, which are practice tightenings of the uterus. Unlike true labor contractions, which increase in intensity and duration, Braxton Hicks feel like a tightening of the belly followed by relaxation.
It’s also common to feel the baby lower in the pelvis, known as “dropping.” In addition, some may notice an increase in vaginal discharge, including the loss of the mucus plug (“show”). Mild cramps, an achy back, or even loose stools or diarrhea can also occur. Some people feel a sharp, lightning-like pain as the baby presses down. Staying hydrated can help reduce the frequency of Braxton Hicks contractions, as dehydration can make them more intense.
During this time, many people start preparing for labor by packing a hospital bag or setting up a birthing space at home. Those planning a home birth often double-check their supplies, while those delivering in a maternity unit might review hospital directions and policies, and ensure the car is fueled. Some people don’t notice any pre-labor signs, while for others, this stage can last days—or may not happen at all.
Emotional Ups and Downs
Pre-labor can bring emotional highs and lows. As birth approaches, many people experience a strong urge to clean, organize, or nest. This period is also marked by a mix of excitement and anxiety. It’s normal to question every new sensation and wonder, “Is this labor?”
Emotions can fluctuate quickly, with energy levels shifting from excited to exhausted within a single day. Having a midwife or a contact at the hospital can be reassuring, providing guidance and support when these feelings come up.
Noticing Labor Has Started
One of the clearest signs that labor has started is when the water breaks—the loss of amniotic fluid, which often signals the onset of birth. At this point, contractions become more regular, stronger, and follow a clear pattern, unlike the earlier, irregular sensations.
When this happens, it’s time to contact the maternity unit or midwife and prepare for either hospital admission or setting up for a home birth. If labor doesn’t start naturally, the care team may consider induction as the next step.
Phase 1: Early Labor Begins
What Happens Physically
Early labor, or the latent phase, begins with contractions that are irregular. They may occur every seven to 20 minutes and typically last less than a minute. This stage can last anywhere from a few hours to a day or two. During this time, many people are still able to walk, eat, and talk through contractions, although some may need to pause when the sensation intensifies.
Other physical signs during this phase include feeling unusually hungry or, in some cases, experiencing nausea. Some may have mild backaches, while others might notice their amniotic sac breaking, releasing amniotic fluid—an unmistakable sign that labor is starting. These signs indicate that the cervix is gradually softening and beginning to open.
How You Might Feel Emotionally
Emotionally, this phase is a mix of excitement, anxiety, and even restlessness. Many talk with friends and family, keep busy, and feel social as they process the fact that labor has begun. The idea that the birth journey is starting brings a range of emotions. There may be difficulty resting or relaxing even when advised to do so, since anticipation and nerves often take over.
Contractions Become Stronger and More Regular
As early labor moves forward, contractions become easier to notice. They start lasting longer and growing in intensity, happening more often and suddenly requiring focus and deep breathing to get through each wave. This shift makes it harder to continue with normal activities or conversations. People usually pay close attention to each contraction as the body prepares for active labor.
Phase 2: When to Leave for Birth and Contact the Midwife
What Happens Physically
During this phase, contractions become much more regular and stronger. They can last about a minute each and keep coming every few minutes. Some people might notice nausea or even throw up. It is difficult to find a position that feels comfortable, and lying down often makes things worse. As the cervix keeps dilating, a vaginal exam at the hospital or birth center may confirm progress.
How You Might Feel Emotionally
Emotions can change quickly with intense contractions. Many need quiet time during these moments and want fewer distractions. Staying focused is important, as some find it hard to talk or interact while a contraction is happening.
Signs of Entering Active Labor
Active labor begins when contractions become steady, occurring about every 2–3 minutes and lasting at least 60 seconds for at least an hour. Other signs include a visible bloody show or the sensation of needing to have a bowel movement. Once these signs appear, it’s usually the right time to head to the hospital or contact the midwife.
Phase 3: Strong, Regular Contractions Begin (Active Labor)
What Happens Physically
During active labor, contractions become stronger, more frequent, and follow a regular pattern. This stage usually continues for several hours, with the cervix opening to about six centimeters or more. Women may feel hot or cold suddenly and may shake or feel nauseous.
Vomiting is also common at this stage as the body responds to increasing intensity. Some may notice sweating and unexpected physical reactions. This is usually the time to go to the birth location, call the midwife, or request pain relief options like an epidural.
How You Might Feel Emotionally
Active labor can bring a wave of emotions. Many experience stress, fear, or exhaustion as the pain becomes more intense. Some might feel overwhelmed, while others feel relieved that progress is happening. Support from partners or a care team becomes more important.
Coping tools—like breathing, moving, or listening to calming music—may help a lot during this phase. If something seems off, such as a sudden decrease in baby movement or a change in fluids, inform a healthcare provider right away.
The Poop Sensation—It’s Not What You Think
Many report feeling a strong urge to go to the bathroom during each contraction. This pressure comes from the baby moving lower in the birth canal, not from needing to poop. Involuntary grunts, shaking, and increased sweating often happen now. The intense urge may lead some to suddenly request more pain relief. This sensation is normal and shows the labor process is moving forward.
Phase 4: Moving Into the Urge to Push
What Happens Physically
During this stage, contractions become stronger and often last just over a minute. The person may sweat, shake, or even vomit as the body works harder. There can also be an increase in blood and some people notice involuntary grunting. The need to push can feel completely overwhelming and cannot be ignored.
How You Might Feel Emotionally
This part of labor can feel extremely intense both physically and emotionally. Many want pain relief, especially if they have not had an epidural. It is common to feel totally worn out and ready for the process to be over.
Signs That Things Have Shifted
Pressure in the rectal area becomes constant and pushing may start even without trying. The cervix is now fully open, and the body begins to help push the baby out, sometimes making people feel like they really need to poop.
Phase 5: Active Pushing Stage
1. Rest Pause
At the end of full dilation, some people enter a brief resting window before the real work of pushing begins. During this stage, which may last 10 to 30 minutes or not happen at all, contractions often slow down and come further apart. The body uses this short break to regain strength for the next round of activity.
Those experiencing this pause might notice they feel extra awake, their surroundings become clearer, or anxiety might set in about what lies ahead. If present, this is a valuable time to rest, catch a breath, and reset for the hard physical effort that comes next.
2. Back-and-Forth Head Movement
The longest part of the pushing stage involves repeated attempts to bring the baby’s head down below the pubic bone. In each push, the head may start to appear, only to retreat again when the push ends. This back-and-forth motion can take from several minutes to a few hours.
The reason is simple: the baby’s head must navigate under the pubic bone, which can be a tight fit and a slow process. While it may feel frustrating because it seems like progress is lost with every pause, each effort does inch the baby closer to birth. This phase tests endurance and patience, but it is an important part of the process that prepares the way for delivery.
3. Intense Stretching Sensation
Once the baby moves under the pubic bone, the next sensation is an intense stretching in the perineal area. The term crowning describes when the widest part of the baby’s head remains visible at the vaginal opening between contractions. People often call this feeling a “ring of fire” due to the strong stretch it causes.
This phase is typically brief, lasting only a few minutes, but the sensation serves an important purpose: it allows the tissues to stretch slowly, helping to protect against tears. The powerful feelings here are normal and signal the baby’s arrival is close.
4. Transition to Full Birth
After the head emerges, labor enters the “almost there” moment. Usually, a brief pause follows when just the baby’s head is visible, but the rest of the body has not exited yet. This can last seconds or a couple of minutes. Many feel surprised by the sight and the realization that an entire person is in the process of being born.
From this point, a few final pushes usually bring the shoulders and the rest of the body out smoothly. Emotions may range widely—relief, anticipation, nervous excitement, or simply feeling overwhelmed. No matter the feeling, this is the final stretch before holding the newborn.
5. Placenta Delivery
Birth does not end with the baby’s exit—the placenta, or afterbirth, still needs to be delivered. Typically, the placenta separates from the uterine wall and comes out within five minutes to up to an hour. The milder contractions that follow expel the placenta, and many new parents focus on their baby during this time.
For most, this is not a painful process; placentas are soft and flexible, unlike babies’ bones and heads. In some cases, healthcare providers gently pull or massage the abdomen to help the placenta detach and exit. Once the placenta comes out, many experience a deep feeling of relief.
The journey to parenthood is full of surprises and emotions. Understanding the stages of labor helps prepare you for the physical and emotional changes ahead. While every birth is unique, being informed can ease uncertainty and empower you to approach the experience with confidence.
